He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
