so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
