Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
