This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize