question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
