you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize