OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
