You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
