"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
