It's like God shit irony all over that family
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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