My friends, they love my intelligence
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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