i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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