At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
