the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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