You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
