i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
