It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
