I hate your face
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize