Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
