god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
