I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
