I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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