1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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