If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
