is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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