bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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