I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
