You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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