guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
