Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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