I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize