yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
