C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
