it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
