It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
