It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Less talking, more tequila
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you're hired as official boob wrangler
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
