Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
