I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
