You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
