Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
