In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
do herpes really smell.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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