Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
