therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize