guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
