I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
