Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
