well you can't waste a boner
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
