Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
