i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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