We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize