Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
