He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
