I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
