Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
where are you?
Hypothermia
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i need some magic done to my vagina
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
