i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
