Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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