Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
