Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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