I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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