hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
