I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
