i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
