white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
