Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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