just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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