have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
