I have demons in me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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