so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
