Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
