Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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